About
There was no single moment. I keep looking for one, because it would make a better story, and it isn't there. This came together slowly, out of a lot of small things that kept happening.
I grew up with the golden rule. Treat others like you want to be treated. It sounds generous. It falls apart the second two people want different things.
Most of the trouble I have watched, in my own life and in my work, starts right there. Someone gives what they would have wanted. The other person receives something they never asked for. Both of them were trying. Both of them end up hurt.
We assume our preferences are everyone's. They are not. Mine are not yours.
The garden centre had it figured out
Every plant on the shelf comes with a little stake in the soil. Full sun. Partial shade. Water sparingly. Nobody argues with it. Nobody reads one and feels judged by it. You do what the tag says and the plant lives.
Plants, pets, and machines come with instructions. Humans never did.
What I actually believe
You are not the same person in every room. What you need at breakfast is not what you need at a party, or in an argument, or on a plane at 5am. Your needs move around. A tag moves with them.
Telling someone what you need is easier than hoping they work it out. Hearing it is easier than finding out afterwards that you got it wrong.
Who's behind this
I'm Martin. I work with people and the parts of them that don't agree with each other, and I write about what I find there. Everything I make points the same way: permission to be your own particular shape, and to say so out loud.
For a while now I have been saying the same thing to people: give me your map. I'm building Human Care Tag so that when I say it, they know exactly what I mean.
Nothing to send yet
When there is, you'll hear from me first.